Hi Dominic, I have
been tuning into you
this morning and
what I'm seeing is
that you are really
blocking something.
You are still very
closed and do not
want anyone to know
how you are. You do
not want anyone to
see what you call
your “private
life.”
You have this big
block in relation to
your mother; you are
hiding some kind of
a relationship with
her. I am seeing
that you were the
only boy and you
were her favorite.
She catered to you
and you had a bond
with her. I am also
seeing that your
sisters were jealous
of you and took out
their anger out
toward you. They
thought you were
spoiled. The thing
that you are most
closed about is your
relationship with
your mother. I am
trying to get in
there and see what
you are saying about
it.
What you are
subconsciously
saying to me is, "My
mother raped me when
I was six. She took
away my manhood and
masculinity, but I
would not let her do
that." You are
saying, "I am a man
and I will never let
any woman take that
from me.” "I have
to stay closed to
keep my manhood,
being a man is very
important to me."
This is a little
embarrassing, but I
have to read what I
am seeing in you.
You are saying, "if
I ---- pussy, then
I'm not a man." I
am seeing this
directly in relation
to your mother. You
have got this very
closed off, and are
afraid of it, afraid
of your mother. On
the outside, you
have a bond with
your mother, and
feel that your
mother is okay.
Maybe you can get in
touch with the fear
you have of her.
You feel very
humiliated about the
sex, humiliated in
relation to women,
and humiliated in
relation to
sexuality.
I just told Neil
what I was seeing
and he went over to
talk to you. You
told him, “That
would answer a lot
of questions and
things about your
life. It really
makes sense.” I am
glad that you are
open to the reality
that I am seeing in
you. I am going to
go back and
continue.
You are saying to me
on a subconscious
level, "I am very
ashamed of what I
did with my mother,
and it went on till
about age fourteen
and it did include
intercourse."
I am seeing that you
would really rather
be alone. It is
lonely up here, but
you do not mind
being alone, you
find a lot of solace
in being alone. You
would like Amanda to
be here, but mostly
in your mind. The
truth is that you
like the space.
When you are alone,
you do not have to
deal with the
feelings that you
have and the fears
that come up when
she is here with
you.
I am will to jump
around as I see
different things. I
am seeing you being
very angry with your
mother, but you are
afraid to show it.
It seems that you
went toward your
mother for
protection from your
father. Your mother
seemed to be more
passive and your
father was more
aggressive. He also
was angrier and so
you went into
agreement with your
mother and became
more passive.
You wanted her to
protect you, love
you, and care about
you. You would do
whatever she wanted
for that love from
her, however, she
was controlling
you. From in the
womb, you were
agreeing to be with
her and be special
to her. That is
what you have been
hiding and running
from. This is your
side of why you have
been alone for long
periods during your
relationship with
Amanda. You are
avoiding dealing
with your feelings
toward women and
your mother.
You believe if you
get intimate, then a
woman is going to
use you. If your
open and are
vulnerable, a woman
will hurt you. It
looks like you have
attracted Amanda to
you because of this
fear and pattern
with your mother.
Your mother did hurt
you. On the
surface, it did not
seem so because she
was catering to you
and you had this
bond with her. She
was using and
abusing you, and you
attracted someone
who is also abusing
you in a sense.
What I am getting
is by not treating
you with respect, by
putting you down, by
not considering your
feelings, feeling
that she is better
than you are in many
different ways.
Amanda, I am not
meaning to pick on
you now, but this is
coming out a lot in
the reading I am
doing on you. You
have tons of men
issues. In
addition, this is a
negative match;
Amanda and you are
matching negative
selfish behavior
patterns, matching
negative choices and
reactions.
All of the
relationships that I
have observed
(including Neil and
mine) had underlying
attraction by
negative patterns.
This subconscious
phenomenon creates
negative
experiences.
If you work to
identify your own
selfish patterns and
reactions and start
consistently
choosing against
them, you can become
a more loving
person. Your
patterns match
Amanda's patterns,
and it has gotten so
bad between the two
of you, because you
keep enacting those
patterns and
reactions, and
interactions are
bound to worsen.
However, start
dismantling and
weakening your
patterns and your
relationships are
going to get better
and better. One of
your major patterns
is that you let your
mother do whatever
she wanted with you,
without having too
much say about it.
In present-time, you
do the same thing
with Amanda. You
let Amanda do
whatever she wants
to do, without
pressing or
addressing what
might be right. You
do not stand up for
what is right, you
back away and run
from it. In doing
that, you allowed
your mother to do
degrading and
humiliating things
to you. Now, you
allow Amanda to do
the same thing.
I am going to do a
present time reading
now, starting at
your first energy
center. It feels a
lot better, and is
now more possible
for me to go in
there and see what
is actually
happening with you
in present time.
When I read a person
in present time, I
often see things
from the past
because we usually
carry old ideas and
patterns around with
us. We actually
live from those
selfish patterns and
controlled ideas.
As I am looking at
your first energy
center, which
related to survival,
what is lit up in
there is, "I can't
live without my
mother." This is
also the way you
feel about Amanda,
"I can't live
without Amanda; I
don't want to live
without Amanda."
This feeling and
idea goes back to
your mother and
feeling that you
could not live
without her.
If you had stood up
to her, and
confronted what she
was doing wrong in
relation to you, you
probably would have
lost her affection.
In addition, you
would have lost her
protection and her
special attention at
least that is what I
see you felt.
You can see this
occuring in present
time with Amanda.
You are afraid that
if you stand up to
her and are firm in
what is right, she
will go away and she
will not want to
have anything to do
with you anymore and
will leave for
good. This may be
true, but, to me, it
does not seem to be
true.
If you challenge
Amanda, she probably
will not run. It is
the idea that you
have in relation to
your mother that is
keeping you from
challenging Amanda
about what is
clearly wrong. You
are not willing to
put your
relationship on the
line because you
have a deep
desperate feeling
that you “have” to
be with her.
I'm taking another
look at your first
energy center. In
every couple in a
sexual relationship
that we have
interacted deeply
with, or that I have
clairvoyant looked
at, there was a
certain
psychological
dynamic. One
partner was
predominantly
fearful, the other
partner was
predominantly
angry. I think that
you will both agree
that it is obvious
Amanda is angrier
and you are more
fearful.
Your fears are
numerous. Fear of
displeasing, or fear
that something bad
is going to happen
to you. Fear that
if you do what is
right, the things
that you want or
need are going to be
taken away from
you. Bottom line,
these ideas
originated with your
mother. “If I do
what is right, she
is not going to give
me what I need.”
These ideas spill
over into your job.
This came up the
night over for
dinner. You were
talking about
switching your days
off. The whole feel
of it was that if
you stood up to your
boss, then you would
not get what you
wanted. That may be
true, but it may not
be true. It could
become a self
fulfilling prophesy,
in the sense that
you believe that
that will happen so
you set it up for
that to happen.
Whereas, another
person might say to
a boss, my wife has
certain days off and
comes up to see me.
I have to have
those days off.
That person may not
get the same
reaction that you
think you will get
because the boss
would know that he
has a valid reason
and changing his
schedule is right,
and that is all
there is to it.
That is a little
example, but it
seems that you back
down a lot and do
not stand up for
what is right
because you are
afraid of losing
what you need or
feel you need.
I am seeing you
saying, "I cannot
wet my bed or mommy
will spank me." It
seems that your
mother on an
underneath level
demanded that you be
normal and not show
any signs of her
sexual abuse. Not
that doing that was
actually possible,
but your mother was
trying hard to keep
it covered-up,
mainly because she
was terrified of
your father.
In present time, out
of fear of your
mother and wanting
to please her, you
do not outwardly
appear to have any
problems. You will
not show that you
have problems. You
do that by keeping a
closed aura and
projecting the image
that everything is
okay with you.
I am glad you are
deciding to let that
protection down now
because I think it
is going to be a
great relief to you,
to Amanda, and also
to little Dana.
Then, everyone can
get to know you
better.
Non-deserving is
what I am getting in
your first energy
center. You are
saying, "I do not
deserve to be with a
woman because of
what I did with my
mother and because
of my loyalty to my
mother."
Energetically and
subconsciously, you
are still loyal to
your mother and
connected to her by
the good feelings
you have about her.
